Who Came First?

This post is written by DCIN's fantastic transport coordinator, Claudia Keating and I can't thank her enough for such an honest piece about something that is heart breaking in rescue.

I have an amazing job.  It doesn't pay the bills, or put food on the table (aside from the fact that I am the one cooking it), but it is a job that nourishes my heart.  I am a mama.  I am raising empathic, compassionate, loving children.  My cats are helping me do that.

Charlie and Lorelei 

I have 2 beautiful babies and 2 wonderful cats.  The cats came first.  My husband adopted Charlie when we started dating 11 years ago.  Darla came along the following year.  For 9 years it was just us and the cats, and then we began adding humans to the brood.  While I was pregnant with my daughter I worried about how the transition would be for the cats.  They already disliked each other, how would they feel about a baby?  Many mainstream parenting books touch on the topic of bringing babies into a home with pets, and boy was I shocked to learn that apparently people still believe the old wives’ tale that “cats steal the breath from babies”!  People actually think that a cat will want to sleep on top of a baby for their warmth….never mind the fact that babies cry, snort, flail, and fuss!  I’ve met very few loyal dogs who were tolerant enough to willingly spend time close to a newborn, much less cats!  

Darla and Weston

My biggest fear was that my daughter would be allergic to cats.  I am against declawing, so I was scared that they would hurt the baby if they hated her.  I was also worried that the kitties would feel displaced, or jealous of the attention that the baby was getting.  Especially Charlie, because he is a total attention-junkie (I think most sugarcats are)!  I was so relieved when none of my fears were realized, because rehoming them was never even an option for us.  When she was born the cat were curious, but always maintained a respectful (or was it distrustful?) distance.  They didn’t care for her unpredictable, herky-jerky movements, and 2.5 years later they still don’t!  But they love her.  We have since added a baby boy to the mix.  Again I was concerned about possible allergies, and about the transition.  I was sure that this time was bound to be worse because we were moving to a new home within a month of his birth, so their stress would be compounded.  It was another smooth transition, though.  He is a bit less unpredictable than my daughter was, and the cats seem a bit more accepting of him.  But he is a daredevil, so that may still change. 

I have read too many posts on too many message boards by individuals who were looking to rehome their cats (or even worse, put a previously indoor-cat outside to fend for itself) just because they were expecting a baby.  These people were often willing to abandon these animals to shelters even though they knew their once-beloved pet would be euthanized.  This infuriates me.  A cat is not a toy, no animal is.  You can’t just discard them when you get bored with them, or when a newer, more exciting toy comes along.  When you adopt an animal you are promising that you will be his protector, provider, and playmate for the rest of his life.  Not just until it becomes inconvenient for you.  When my second baby came along, it never crossed my mind to rehome my daughter, even though it was likely to be a difficult transition for her.  Sounds pretty absurd when you say it about humans, doesn’t it?  Welcoming a new member to the family will be hard on everybody, the furbabies included.  Things will change:  dynamics, priorities, time management.  Everything changes when you have a child.  But it breaks my heart to see people overreact to these changes by abandoning their original babies- the ones with fur. 

Pets offer so many wonderful things to children.  Children raised with animals in the house from birth have a lower incidence of allergies.   Animals stir feelings of empathy, compassion, gentleness, and responsibility.  Those qualities are incredibly important to me, and no book can teach any of them.  I would never want to live in a house without animals, and I would never want to raise my children in that kind of environment, either.