A very heartfelt post from Director and Founder of DCIN, Venita Wood. I share with you, our DCIN friends, fans and supporters and hope that she knows how deeply and truly we do care about DCIN but more importantly about her. ~Jennifer J.
It is 7:30 am and I have been working on DCIN since 4am. I haven't made a dent in today's "to do" list. DCIN's accounting is only updated through mid-December. I have 940 emails in my inbox, 296 of them are unread.
I have a burr under my saddle from a DCIN client who emailed me that I was not showing enough concern for her cat's health condition. I agree that I likely wasn't, but I received that email the day I made an appointment with my vet to come to the house to euthanize Ennis. So I never responded to it.
I spent the past weekend holding and helping Ennis physically move from Point A to Point B. Ennis could not walk without falling. Most of the time, Point A was the seat of my recliner, where I was holding and petting him. Sometimes Point B was the litter box. Sometimes, Point B was my bed where Ennis was accustomed to having his food. Going up to and down off the bed, Ennis had steps at the end--steps that I built from a footstool and two different heights of Rubbermaid containers. I put child rails on the sides of the bed so that Ennis could not jump down from the sides. The past couple weeks, when Ennis had tried to jump from the sides of the bed he would "thump" to the floor and look at me as though I had betrayed him.
On Monday, I held Ennis gently on my lap while his vet caringly sent him to the Rainbow Bridge. I had a padded box ready for his body, and Dr. R took Ennis away in that.
On Wednesday when I returned to DCIN work, there were two cats with emergent medical conditions that I took on as cases. They both died--Kale from plural effusion and Puma from DKA. There was another communication from the burr-under-the-saddle client. DCIN friends Ann, Gayle, and Steve lost Gustav, Shadoe, and Rorschach. This week has been a major train wreck for me.
There have been times that I have asked myself and asked others whether I should shut DCIN down. DCIN has awesome case managers and significant support from its friends. But this week I received criticism from someone saying that DCIN is not appropriately managing its mission and wasting its precious resources in various ways (with details given). When critical commentary comes from those who help DCIN with projects or money, I respond with reasoning or corrective action. But when it comes from a person who stands at the border and casts stones, I wonder why her ego and the ego of her friends who stand behind her and shout "YES!" are so threatened by DCIN's work.
It has been a suck-ass week. My life would have been so much better off if I hadn't experienced the past seven days. I would gladly give them back to the universe as a mulligan. Just strike the third week of March, 2012, off my life calendar.
~Venita, the sometimes reluctant Founder and Director of DCIN.